i just told my mom i died at birth and i’ve been a ghost this entire time just growing and manifesting into the daughter she’d lost
and she’s just like
well please go to the light because i am tired of your shit
"What does the chef recommend?"
"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"
So last night I was pretty high and thought lol ima draw a happy lil face in this banana cus why the fuck not
I CAME DOWNSTAIRS THIS MORNING AND NEARLY PISSED MYSELF
you might as well wear a condom on your head if you’re gonna act like a dick
they dont even sell garages at garage sales
at this point my blood is probably 4.3% pasta sauce